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The Moonlight Challenge, Uncategorized

The Moonlight Challenge (Sat 16-Nov): Part 4 of 4 – Call-Outs, Moonlight and Baby Seats (9.30pm to 1.30am)

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Heading down the hill from Checkpoint 2, we passed one of the Mountain Rescue team as he drove a Rescue Jeep up the hill in a hurry. A few minutes later, he passed us again on the way back down, this time with someone sitting in the passenger seat. He stopped long enough to tell us there had been two rescue call-outs so far.

“Who’s the plonker who caused the call-out?” asked The Grocer, laughing.

“Me”, said the man in the passenger seat.

DoubleD is a medical professional but made no effort to help The Grocer remove his foot from his mouth.

For someone so tiny, Ms NornIron moves very fast. I used to think it must either be drugs or magic. That night, she had an extra-large flask of triple strength French press coffee with her. She gave me a me thimbleful to perk me up. Immediately I could feel my blood scratching at the insides of my veins trying to get out. She drank the remaining 2 pints of strong coffee in a single swallow that would have intimidated the giant anaconda from the film of the same name. Drugs it is.

At one point, I saw bodies floating in the woods a short distance from the path. They were ten feet off the ground. They didn’t move but reflected the beams from our torches. I can think of three possible explanations: they may have been the spirits that touched Gappy in the graveyard; a playful use of some spare hi-vis outfits; or hallucinations brought on by Ms NornIron’s industrial-strength coffee. I haven’t decided yet.

We turned off our head torches on the final stretches of the walk. The full moon was so bright we didn’t need them. It only occurred to me then that the night had been selected because there would be a full moon. I’m a little slow at times.

We finished up at the lodge at 11.45pm. Not adjusting for rests, it took us a little over six hours to cover under 25km. Like I said, I’m a little slow at times. It wasn’t a race anyway, except to get a good seat in the pub, but that ship had sailed before we even left the lodge.

We were welcomed at the finish line with a team photograph, a goodie-bag and a bowl of either stew or vegetarian goulash. By popular option, the goulash was held to be the tastier option of the two, but I wasn’t sharing.

The goodie-bag contained a Moonlight Challenge buff for each of us and a flier for next year’s walk. We immediately made plans for next year, when we could all dress as gay pirates just like The Grocer.

Five of us hung around for a drink in the lodge. Between us, we found one seat hidden in a corner. We took turns using it, but the seat was so tiny, each of us could only it fit one bum cheek on it at a time.

I was designated driver. I agreed with my two passengers that we’d stay for two pints before hitting the road. They had Guinness and I made do with Alkoholfreies Paulaner. When we were halfway through our second pint, the third round arrived. They agreed that this would be the last moments before ordering another, and another, and another.

The organisers came looking for me at about 1am. The car park was being locked up and they needed me to move my car. I was impressed that they took the time to look for me in a busy pub before locking up. One volunteer drove me a mile down to the car park where another volunteer had been standing in the cold for twelve hours guarding all the participants’ cars. I got back to the lodge to find RedBeard trying to recruit strangers for more fundraising walks next year. I hope he doesn’t expect volunteers to stand in the cold for hours. The Mountain Rescue fundraisers seem to attract a hardier breed of volunteers.

Despite starting at 6am and having a 2 hour drive ahead of her, Ms NornIron stayed with us in the lodge till the bitter end. All I all she made a fair attempt at staying out for a full 24 hours, all to walk 24.5km to fund a mobile command unit in a county 200km from her home. She was as feisty and full of energy at 1.30am as she was at 1.30pm. I’m sure there’s something dodgy in that coffee flask of hers.

The next day I booked accommodation in Glenmalure for the Moonlight Challenge 2014. I’m already looking forward to doing it all again.

The Moonlight Challenge, Uncategorized

The Moonlight Challenge (Sat 16-Nov): Part 3 of 4 – Green Lights, Sore Arses and Promises of Crisps (7.30pm to 9.30pm)

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From Checkpoint 1, we walked up the miners’ road beside the upper lake. We passed multiple scout troupes coming the other way, down the mountain. They were walking in the dark as they had no torches. We could see lights floating around on the lake from people in canoes. Some people do very strange things for fun, I thought, as I was hiked through the night in the rain in the winter with bats painted on my face.

Two large green floodlights lit up the old miner village at the end of the upper lake. It was very atmospheric. They did a really good job with this, I thought to myself. I wished I had enough imagination to come up with such a creative idea: two huge green lamps to light the walkers’ path. As we climbed the hill I realised I was jealous of the creativity and turned to look back at the green lamps shining up from the valley below. They were like giant eyes in the night, I realise, like a big green-eyed monster…

At the top of the valley, we crossed the bridge and moved towards the top of the Spink on the wired boardwalks made from old railway sleepers. These boardwalks are a great solution for walkers on the boggy ground around the Wicklow hills. They protect the soft ground from walkers’ boots and protect walkers’ boots from the nasty sucking smelly mud. Be warned, they’re as slippery as Teflon soap when icy.

Apart from the size, the only difference between Gazza’s jacket and The Grocer’s, was that the Grocer had a bottle of whiskey in his. He refused to open it until we reached the top of the hill. At the top of the Spink, the boardwalks ended and we were sent climbing through the mud up another hill. We were spurred on by the promise of a free bag of crisps at the top. That was a tough hill. We urged each other on. To make it up, we had to be tough and ruthless. Requests for rests were refused. Calls for a stop were ignore. We were intent on the crisps and the crisps. When we got to the top, there were no crisps. There wasn’t even any whiskey. We just kept walking. I little while later, I fell on my arse.

It was no more than I deserved after refusing to stop going up the hill. From the top, the muddy path leads back down the hill to Checkpoint 2. A guide rope helped people climb down without falling. I held tight to the rope. I still fell on my arse. My bum was a little damp and very muddy, but that’s why I wear black pants. Important hiking tip: if you’re going to fall in the mud, wear dark colours.

We passed a big yellow waterproof bag on the way down the hill. It was labelled “Van Party Pack 2”, which sounded very promising. Unfortunately my arse was too sore for me to make use of the emergency party solution.

There were more grateful volunteers and more muffins waiting for us at Checkpoint 2. We shared chunky mint Kit Kats (they were minty), salted peanuts (they were salty) and a few swigs from the Grocer’s naggin of whiskey (it was peaty and smoky and delicious, it warmed my belly and my toes).

As we rested at Checkpoint 2, I met some friends of a friend. They had a dog. I wished I had a dog. With our secret aliases and adventurous demeanour, if our team only had a dog, we’d be able to fight crime, solve mysteries and discover lost treasure and hidden booty. But we have no dog, so we’re left swigging whiskey and falling on our booties*.

*my booty, specifically