Elbrus Part 2 – Day 8: Peak Notions

Start Point: Camp 1, 3,730m

End Point: Camp 1, 3,730m

The plan for today was to have a rest day. If all goes according to plan, we leave for our summit attempt at midnight tonight. The problem is, there is not a lot to do in camp. The weather is still scorching, so most pasty white Irish people need to stay in the shade. But the only shade available is the mess hall, with its constant comings and goings of various teams on various timelines; and our sleeping hut, which heats up like a sauna and constantly smells of damp socks. It’s a choice between sunstroke and heatstroke.

To remove some of the tedium of the day, our leader and our guide offered an additional skills session this morning. Only four of us (out of 11) were sufficiently confident in our stomachs, knees and feet to risk it. Everyone else opted to give their offending body parts a much rest before tonight.

The first part of our training was “snow parkour” – an obstacle course designed by Ivan to improve our snow and ice-axe confidence. We decided not to wear the crampons as several boots and trouser legs have already been torn up by those pointy death contraptions. The course involved climbing rocks, jumping imaginary crevasses, climbing other rocks without our feet touching said rock, and jumping a longer imaginary crevasse which required a bit of a run-and-jump. We all performed adequately well but were surprised how out of breath we were after running only about five feet in the snow.

We also practised moving up and down a fixed line, something we’ll need to do in our final summit bid; and moving in a line roped together, which we’ll only have to do if conditions are particularly bad. While the four us walked across the slope, the leader and guide took turns simulating a member of the team falling into a crevasse by grabbing the rope and pulling it down the slope as hard as they could, dragging us with them. Our job was to drop to the ground with our ice axe dug into the snow below us – an ice-axe arrest. It was great to practise, but a bit worrying that in the soft powdery conditions, despite having our weight on top of them, our axes just cut through the snow like a shark’s fin through water and we flew down the slope.

Getting back to camp, there was talk of building a makeshift shelter to protect us from the sun. We considered using trekking poles as a frame, and curtains from the hut or ground-mats from our beds as a cover. There were a good few creative ideas. We did nothing.

I got a bit of slagging today when I began to sort out the ridiculously large bag of snacks I brought up with me. The food I’ve getting has been tasty and plentiful (although a lot of the team would probably disagree on the tasty), so I haven’t really needed the snacks. Unfortunately one of the things I brought and had forgotten about (and I can’t myself understand what I was thinking at the time) were four little single servings of cheese from Marks and Spencer. Red Leicester, Cheddar with Chive and Onions, White Stilton with Cranberries. Peak notions!* As they hadn’t been refrigerated in more than a week in 30+ degree heat, and as the altitude had caused the packs to swell up, I figured it would be a silly idea to tempt faith, so threw them out.

Another team in our hut were due to summit overnight. Only a few of them set out (due to similar health problems as our team), some returned at 3am, and the rest arrived back 12 hours later having summited the East Peak. The East Peak is only 21m lower than the West but from the North Side, where I am, it is much closer and easier than the West (from the South side, both peaks are equally difficult, as far as I understand). But it’s the West that gives the local beer its name (5,642), the West that’s listed as one of the Seven Summits and the West that is the highest point in Europe. It’s the West I came to do.

At times like this I wish Elbrus only had one summit. In Kilimanjaro or Aconcagua, there’s no option, so there is way to go for an easier summit day. I’m one of a team here and the team has varying degrees of experience, fitness and health issues. There is also a big question mark over the weather. But if I had my choice, assuming it is safe, I would rather try the tougher one I and fail if needs be, rather than set out knowing we have an easier option if things get tough.

It’s coming up to 5.30pm as I write this and dinner is at six. That’s when we hear what the plan is. Then we go to bed to get up at midnight for breakfast and the beginning of the trek. I wanted to write this up before hearing what our guide and leader have decided.

*pun intended

Elbrus Part 2 – Day 7: Let’s Never Speak of This Again

Start Point: Camp 1, 3,730m

High Point: Middle Lenz Rock, 4,837m

End Point: Camp 1, 3,730m

Today was an acclimatisation day. We were planning on gaining 1,100m altitude to get our bodies used to the lower oxygen in the thinner air. Climbing high, spending a little time up there and then sleeping lower down is the best way to get the body ready for going higher again.

However I was also very aware that tge temperature usually drops about 1 degree for every 100m ascent, and given we were starting at 3,700m, the chances were that it would be well below freezing by 4,800m. It wasn’t. It was a fecking scorcer! We got roasted.

We took light enough bags containing our summit down jackets and summit mits, but I had to delayer before we even started and spent most of the day in a t-shirt and light top. And the top was really only to keep the sun off my arms. Unfortunately that particular top has little holes for your thumbs, through which I got two little round circles of sunburn so bad it seems to be grey. Oddly I didn’t even notice it until we were back in camp.

The team continues to be plagued by stomach bugs. One guy sat out the day’s training and another was very sick soon after returning. The cause isn’t clear as we’re all eating and drinking more or less the same food and water and following the same (minimalist) hygiene routines. I might be next.

Other people are suffering a lot from blisters – probably exacerbated by the rental boots and the heat. Again, I might be next, though at least I am well used to the boots at this stage.

One of the lads who was recovering from his dose was given a helping hand by Vlad today in the form of a snowball to the back of the head for not sitting facing the mountain to check for avalanches.

For an acclimatisation day, it was very tough. The heat was one factor and the steepness of the track through the snow another. Luckily the sbow had frozen overnight meaning while our boots had dropped right through it yesterday, today we were sometimes able to more or less walk across the top.

The steepness increased at one point when we were about 300m above camp. It was probably all quite safe but it felt pretty hairy to me when I looked behind me to see the team below me and camp well below them again. 

It took us four hours to trudge uphill in the snow to the lower Lenz Rock at 4,550m, which is reasonable though not fast going. We past the wheel of a helicopter which had crashed a few years before and began to wonder where the rest of the helicopter was if only a single wheel was here.

The team noticed Ivan’s unusual timekeeping. His watch slows or speeds up depending on his own speed. So when he is walking and tells us a rest stop is 15 minutes away, it’s actually between 30 and 40 minutes. But when resting and he gives us 10 minutes to have a drink and a snack, those 10 minutes rarely last more than 4 or 5.

At Lower Lenz Rock, Ivan told us he needed to collect some gear from the Middle Lenz Rock another 300m up. Six of us volunteered to go with him. It took us about an hour to get there – again, very tough going – then Ivan left us to rest for 30mins while he went to chat to a team who were camping nearby and to find the stash of equipment his mates had deposited but not collected. After half an hour, I was expecting Ivan to come back with tents and fuel cannisters for us to stow in our bags. Instead he came back with a box of crackers and a wheel of ice cold Laughing Cow spreadable cheese triangles (mushroom flavoured). Possibly one of the nicest mountain snacks I’ve ever had. We had spent the 30 minutes admiring the view we now had over the Caucasus and into Georgia, taking each other’s very high heart-rates, and wondering what smelt so bad (it was us).

On the way down, Ivan took us “exploring”. We passed the rest of helicopter as well as what appeared to be some sort of mountain siren sitting on a rock smiling and waving at us. She was from the team who were camped nearby and were actually just using Elbrus as training to prepare for Peak Lenin in Kyrgyzstan, rather than as a challenge itself.

Getting back down to camp on tired legs, in scorching heat and with no water was a struggle. 

We got back to camp around 3pm and had the afternoon to kill, which lead to a very heated and aggravated game of cards that I think would be better not to talk about. I don’t want to get sued – and it seemed like a possibility for a while. The game’s controversies can be summed up as: 1) if you forget a rule exists, that does not mean it it has just been made up; and 2) just because a rule seems stupid to you, doesn’t mean you refuse to let the game proceed until you get your own way.

Elbrus Part 2 – Day 6: You Are Vegetable? 

Start Point: Camp 1, 3,730m

High Point: Random Rock on the mountain, 3,900m

End Point: Camp 1, 3,730m

Today was a rest and skills day. Resting helps acclimatisation so half the day was set aside for sitting around doing nothing. The other half of the day, the morning, was an opportunity to get out on the snow field near Camp 1 and practice putting on and wearing harnesses and crampons, and walking with ice axes, which a lot of the team haven’t done before and I have really only done on rest and skills days on other expeditions.

Ivan had hightailed it back down to basecamp to collect our (now recovered) 11th trekker, so Vladimir and our leader took a team each. I went with our Irish leader – he led us in zigzags up the mountain, breaking trail in the fresh snow and switching position from front to back in the group to get used to both walking on a well(ish) worn path (fairly easy) and in deep soft snow (not easy at all).

After a while we reached a small group of rocks poking up out of the snow and stopped for a rest. Vladimir and his team joined us shortly after and (using 10% Russian, 10% broken English and 80% hand gestures) quite coherently gave out to some people for sitting facing downhill as they wouldn’t be able to spot avalanches. He didn’t complain at all at our game of throwing snowballs at each others ice axes trying to knock them over, nor at the game of throwing snowballs as far as possible downhill and seeing how far they rolled, which Warner Bros and Disney have led me to believe is the main cause of avalanches. 

The teams switched when we left the rocks and Vlad complained about us not walking straight enough, not cleaning our boots enough, cleaning our boots when they didn’t need to be cleaned, looking down to check if our boots needed cleaning, not looking back to check the team enough and not looking straight ahead. All again through mime and mutters. He’d be a very good mime.

One unexpected aspect of the day is that it was absolutely roasting. The sun was very hot and we all stripped down to barely one or two layers. However whenever a bit of cloud covered the sun or a breeze blew we were reminded we were nearly 4,000m up a snow-covered mountain. That said, I think everyone got a bit of colour despite the Factor 50, the sunglasses, the hat and the buff.

Wearing my crampons, I managed to put a hole in my waterproof trousers again. From the inside they are now 50% duct tape, holding the tears together. As the first piece of duct tape is still there since the last time I was on Elbrus two years ago and the trousers have kept my arse dry in various continents, I’m happy to recommend duct tape as a solution to most of life’s problems (as if it needed any further endorsement.)

Back in the mess hall for lunch, Vlad looked out for me by asking very kindly “You are vegetable?” when I was handed meat free soup. Yes, I am vegetable. We also have someone who doesn’t eat vegetables (and will eat around them quite impressively), someone who doesn’t eat soup (which is served with every meal), and a few people who mostly eat the leftovers from everyone else’s meals, so I’m not the only freak when it comes to mealtimes.

The two ladies in the messhall (Olga and Katya) take very good care of us, although Ivan wasn’t impressed with Katya introducing herself to us as ‘Kate’. He doesn’t like Russian girls named Katya calling themselves Kate. He said it was ‘fashionable’ in the same tone of voice he might have used to describe a bad case of dysentery.

As much as Kate takes care of us, she’s kicked us out of the messhall a few times very quickly after we finish eating. She says it’s because she has other groups coming in, but I think it’s because we’re a really loud and annoying bunch of people. I suspect she doesn’t understand ‘having the craic’. We were also shushed by someone else when playing cards outside. Having too much fun I guess.

In slightly worrying news, so far three of the gang have come down with some sort of stomach upset, the latest just tonight. Thankfully the first two were fully recovered after 24 hours, so hopefully it is the same with the third. A stomach upset is bad enough when the only loo is a hole on the ground in a tin box hanging off the side of a cliff a hundred yards away across a rocky icy path in sub-zero temperatures. The sickness has put everyone a bit on edge when it comes to hygiene and water cleanliness. There isn’t a lot of water available anyway, as it has to be fetched by hand from a glacial lake nearby and then it has to be boiled or treated with iodine tablets. Basically it’s a tad annoying but sure that’s the kind of craic we signed up for. 

Tomorrow we’re up at 6 to head for Lenz rocks on an acclimatisation day. Whoop.

Elbrus Part 2 – Day 5: Atlas, Bible, Goose, Thigh

Start Point: Base Camp – Emmanuel Meadows, 2,575m

End Point: Camp 1, 3,730m 

Our group of 14 (11 trekkers, an expedition leader, a doctor and a guide) became 13 today hopefully temporarily. One of the team came down with a stomach bug and was unable to join our heavy wet trek back up to Camp 1, this time with the rest of our stuff. Hopefully they’ll be back up with us tomorrow.

On the other hand, we were joined by Vladimir who’ll be an assistant guide for the next few days. Vladimir is not young, speaks no English and communicates with us entirely in hand gestures. Seems like a decent chap.

I think my grumpiness in yesterday’s post was a bad case of attitude sickness brought on by an inability to get anything dry. I cheered up a little with a good night’s sleep and when the rain stopped and the sun shone for about 7 minutes just before breakfast.

We were in no huge hurry to get started today, as our only task was to get to Camp 1 which is about a 5 hour trek. So we spent the morning thinking and rethinking about what we should actually bring with us. Despite having opportunities in Dublin and Pyatigorsk to leave the unessentials behind, both I and everyone else had a good amount to leave at basecamp after changing out minds several times. We mostly ignored the fact that nearly everything we bring up has to be brought back down again after the summit attempt. 

Once we had rushed to get the unfortunately heavy bags packed and ready to go, we promptly put them back in the tents and sat in the mess hall for two and a half hours hoping the weather would improve. It did. The rain stopped and we started hiking abou 11.35; I think the original plan was 9.

We filled in the waiting time with a series of card games, card tricks and various puzzles. It was a lot of fun. Our expedition leader showed a card trick that looked very impressive and had us all stumped for a while. A clue to how he did it is included in this post. Further details are available to anyone who buys me (or, I’m guessing, him) a pint. Our guide then stumped us with a brain teaser that none of us could figure out and which kept me quiet for the first three hours of hiking – until the altitude hit me maybe, and I joined in a bit of the trekking banter, somewhat subdued by the weight of the bags and the cold wind.

Today was a tough day: wet muddy trails, heavy bags, quite cold and a lot of snow/rain showers blowing into our faces. The extra weight made us walk a lot slower which didn’t help the coldness, but I (at least) was lucky enough to get the layering more or less right so stayed mostly comfortable throughout the day.

Along the trek we could that the snowline had moved about 300m lower down overnight. So the expedition leader and guide tried to warm us up by telling jokes that are too rude to repeat here (my Mum reads this). There was a heated conversation about cyclists versus drivers and cyclists’ reasons for cycling four abreast along narrow roads with a build-up of cars behind them. Towards the top, one of the Wexford lads who was struggling a bit was heard to mutter to himself grumpily ‘Climb Elbrus they said. Be grand they said.’ He’s been keeping a journal and opened it up tonight to see that his last entry from two days ago was ‘all is well.’ He expects to use only curse words to complete it from here on in. As we reached Camp 1 the dog we met yesterday greeted us all happily and we all petted him. When the Wexford lad hit camp, the same dog sat down in the middle of his path, blocking his way. ‘Get the hell out of my way, dog’ might feature in tonight’s journal entry.

One of the most memorable parts of today’s challenge was the two lads I’ve nicknamed Dirty Dub and Smelly Dub serenading us with Bagatelle’s Summer in Dublin and various Bruce Springsteen hits from behind. It’s unclear if they expected the singing to raise our spirits and spur us on; or if they thought the quality of their singing would make us climb faster to get away from them. 

My spirits were raised and I sang along with them, but part of my happiness was due to my hitherto success in the burgeoning back market prune business amongst the team. I collected prunes from various packed lunches when nobody wanted them, but have since started getting people addicted to them. And a bit of dietary regularity is very important on a trek like this.

Our accommodation at Camp 1 is a lot better than I expected but a bit different. Our team is sharing a large circular building with a few other randoms. There’s just one door, a central area with a stove and plugs and then 6 little alcoves with sleeping space for 3 or 4. As I type this, the noise of the large diesel generator which provides electricity for the entire camp is being drowned out by some loud snoring in a Wexford accent.

Elbrus Part 2 – Day 4: I’m Grumpy, Deal With It.

Start Point: Base Camp – Emmanuel Meadows, 2,575m

High Point: Camp 1, 3,730m

End Point: Base Camp – Emmanuel Meadows, 2,575m

Today was our first real day of hiking. We hiked from basecamp 7km (horizontally) and 1.2km (vertically) up to Camp 1. We did it in our heavy mountain boots, both to get more used to them (essential for the people with new or rental boots) and for the 300m snow field just before camp 1. We carried up some gear we knew we wouldn’t need until later in the trip like our ice axes, crampons, harnesses and some food. We were up at 6am, hiking at 7 and back to basecamp at about 6pm. I’m absolutely feckin wrecked. I think everyone is.

We started off in bright sunshine and the route up was really picturesque. People were more worried about sunscreen and sunglasses than anything else. We started by trekking up the side of a steep rocky river valley and then crossed a wide flat green meadow amd spotted little marmots scurrying out of our way. They’re a cute little rodent that live in mountains and look about 10% squirrel (but without the tail), 10% rabbit (but without the ears) and 80% rat (but without the evil yellow-eyed glare of a creature from hell intent on destroying humanity).

After we’d climbed about 400m or 500m the weather started to change. We realised we were climbing up into a cloud and from that point nothing any of us any of us one had will ever be fully dry again. The rain stopped and started and switched between mist, rain, hail and snow – the sun even came out every now and again, but only for short bursts to trick us into taking off raingear. At times I think the sun is playing us like it’s a evil giant rat in the sky. But I may only be saying that because I’m cold, my gear is wet, I’ve no way to dry it and I need a pee. Basically I’m feeling grumpy.

Despite the effort and planning that we put into packing, I went and forgot the snowbaskets for my walking poles (the round plastic dealios that stop the narrow pole just sliding right down into the deep snow). So I struggled a little getting up the hill. I wasn’t as unlucky as one of the Wexford lads who bent his pole right out of shape on the snow and in trying to fix it, snapped it in two.

Camp 1 is not quite as swish as basecamp though it’s still no bad. The word is they’ve neither WiFi nor a sauna, so things will be tough up there and this is likely the last live blog for about a week. They do however have a dog and two toilets numbered No.1 and No.2, as No.1 has no door.

They also have a little plaque on the wall from Sean O’Mara from Ireland who summited 5 years ago aged 42. Well done Sean.

After dropping our gear, we started back down. One of Dubs tried his “trusty old heel toe technique” to keep moving and promptly pirouetted and fell on his arse.

A good few people (including me) were a little concerned that sore feet today was an indicator of impending blisters but luckily that does not seem to be the case. In one case, an odd clicking in his boots and a loseness in the grip was investigated by our head guide and found to be a case of ‘not having bothered tied his fucking laces’.

Walking down through the mist, somebody looked ahead at what was obviously a trekker walking towards us up the hill and asked “is that a bull?!”. I asked if her eyesight was okay but concluded she must have just looked into his soul to see he was a taurus.

Dinner tonight was greatly enhanced by a mild tomato sauce which was quite tasty and a chilli paste that nearly burned my mouth off.

It’s raining heavily outside now. I’m still cold, damp and exhausted and I still need to pee. Tomorrow we get a lie in and only wake up at 6.30am – I wonder can I wait til then.

Elbrus Part 2 – Day 3: The Importance of Laxatives

Start Point: Hotel (5th floor), Pyatigorsk, 595m

End Point: Base Camp – Emmanuel Meadows, 2,575m

We have made it to basecamp. This is WAY nicer than I was expecting. I thought we’d be carrying our own tents, setting them up in an empty field and huddling around a zippo lighter for warmth. As it happens, the tents are semi-permanent and fit four people. We have a wooden mess hall; WiFi (obviously); running drinking water; two quaint wooden cabin loos (long drops, but still); a shower; a place to buy booze; and a sauna. Not too shabby.

We left Pyatigorsk after packing our gear into three separate bags. A small rucksack to stay in the hotel, a great big (mostly empty) rucksack to carry on our backs on the short trek from the trailhead to basecamp, and a great big full duffel bag, which was to go in a 4×4 all the way to camp over a pass and through a river.

I started taking diamox yesterday both to get used to it and to allow it get into my system before we hit any serious altitude. It was probably a bit premature especially as I spent the entire first two hours in the bus dying for a pee. We stopped at a supermarket to pick up some snacks and asked if we could use the bathroom. The one girl (who had previously made a very moving speech about being treated no differently from the rest of the team) was allowed use the loo; the rest of the team were not.

We eventually stopped to pee at the side of the road in a lovely woodland area just before we hit one of the worst roads I’ve even been on. Driving up into the Caucasus mountains from the North seemed a whole lot more scenic than the long drive up the Terskol valley to reach the start point for the trek from the South side. Wide rolling green meadows with horseback shepherds and flocks of black sheep, followed by high craggy peaks and deep V-shaped river valleys. We stopped three times for pee-breaks. It was spectacular. In one of our final rest spots our guide ordered us coffee and “local delicacies”. The local delicacy was pasties filled with grey minced meat, which Ivan told us was veal. He then told us that the calf’s mother was crying and wailing because we ate the grey mince and that she’d be seeking revenge. Funny guy, Ivan.

We had a short easy trek from the trailhead up to camp, first through a load of tourists bathing in the river, then up onto a narrow trail climbing over the rocky landscape. I stepped in cow shit, so despite the surroundings felt right at home.

Conversations today (and every day) have centred on an ongoing Dubs vs Culchies rivalry. Even the tents have been allocated accordingly, with Dubs in one, Wexford in another and randoms in the last. An otherwise amicable cardgame turned into a major incident after the girl from Limerick claimed victory on behalf of everyone outside the Pale when a lad from Wexford she’d been actively trying to eliminate happened to win. The game (of Uno) eventually finished up 1:1, but will likely be revisited tomorrow night.

Our expedition doctor also adds colour to every meal by explaining how to slaughter various animals. There was some talk about barbecuing a sheep which led to a slightly odd question about whether we should kill it first.

As a vegetarian I’ve so far been getting very well treated foodwise. I even get less dill than the rest of the team, as it’s mixed into a lot of the meat. I also managed to snaffle a couple of wafer biscuits at dinner to keep my strength up.

Talk in the Dublin tent since dinner has centred on what gear to pack for our trek to Camp 1 tomorrow and the difficulties of using the no-seat squatting toilets. One of the lads spent five days in Everest Basecamp eating Nepalese curries and not pooping so he has extolled the virtues of bringing a large supply of laxatives. Another of the lads is concerned about using the loos so the tent has seen a series of demonstrations of squatting techniques and optimal angles for attack. Fierce interesting stuff.

Tomorrow we’re heading for Camp 1 (so named as it’s the second of our two camps) for acclimatisation and then back to basecamp. Should be fun.

In a final fret before bed, my roommate from the hotel was wondering if he needed 8 or 9 pairs of socks for his 5 day stay at Camp 1. Look, I told him, dirty and smelly are two things we just can’t afford to worry about until we get back to the hotel. As the two other lads nodded their approval, I pointed out that ‘dirty’ and ‘smelly’ were the nicknames we’d decided to give them.

Elbrus Part 2: Day 2

Start Point: Hotel, Moscow Airport, 335m

End Point: Hotel (5th floor), Pyatigorsk, 595m

Today was a long day. It’s just gone 11pm and we were up at 4.30am to catch our flight from Moscow. Nobody was particularly sad to leave the hotel rooms with no windows, or the grumpy waiter.

Checking in at Moscow airport with a bag full of sharp metal was less trouble than expected. But two of the lads had extra bags that needed to be paid for, letting them experience first hand a trick for achieving full employment: split the simplest tasks into multiple jobs for multiple people. One person checked us in. If you’re bag was large, you brought it to another person to scan and then handed it to a person standing beside them to put it on a trolley. If you had an extra bag, it must be taken to a separate desk to be paid for, and then returned to the first person for re-check in, delivertly to the scanner person for scanning and finally handed to the trolley pusher to ensure said extra bag was pushed on a trolley. Maximum efficiency.

In Mineralnye Vody airport, we made a show of ourselves posing for photos with our impressive stack of multicoloured North Face duffel bags. A few feet away, a group of German climbers posed with their bags and on the other side of the conveyor belt, a group of climbers from the Lebanon posed with theirs. The Lebanese crew had all their bags wrapped in cellophane. Show-offs.

We met our local guide, Ivan, at the airport. He’s from St Petersburg which is only 2,500km away, so totally local. He had opted to splash out on a flight to come down to meet us rather than take the train. The train takes 36 hours.

Between Mineralnye Vody and Pyatigorsk, we wondered at the abundance of ladas, told lada jokes we’d last heard in the 80s (‘what do you call a lada with a sunroof?’ ‘A skip’), and passed by a lada dealership. 

We stopped by a mountaineering shop on the way for anyone who needed to rent gear. I had all my own stuff so sat on a step outside until a cleaning lady happened along and started to shoo me away. I stood up to go but she took my hand, led me over to a little wall and lay down a piece of cardboard for me to sit on rather than the cold step. But as each of the trekkers came out with their rental boots and axes, they all took up spots on the same cold steps and the cleaning lady had apparently run out of cardboard.

In Pyatigorsk, we had lunch, and wandered around town killing time before dinner. Ivan led the way. He brought us to a look out spot and explained the origins of the town as a mineral baths and health resort of the Czars. He then brought us to a little tourist office where we could sample the famous mineral water straight out of the ground. I was expecting something like Volvic or Vittel, even a Ballygowan would have been acceptable. What we actually drank tasted like farts – like someone had infused water with burnt matches, boiled eggs and a poor state of intestinal health.

We returned to the hotel to sample what Ivan promised would be a surprisingly palatable Russian wine. However the lady in the bar laughed at us and told us they only sold the best wines imported from France and Bulgaria. She recruited a local English professor to further explain that the closest they could offer was the Russian Champagne at 320 Rubles a pop. That’s about 5 Euro a glass we thought, until she corrected us and told us it was 5 Euro a bottle. Immediately the cries went up: “give us two bottles!”, “give us a bottle each!”. When we tasted it, we understood both the price and the scarcity of Russian Champagne on Irish shelves. It tasted like someone had taken the fart water, mixed it with apple juice and a pound of sugar and passed it through a sodastream. Not nice.
At least dinner was good: barbequed dill with a side salad of dill and a dill sauce topped with a garnish of dill. While we ate we were serenaded by one of the staff on a karaoke machine except when her phone rang and she ran around the back of the restaurant so we wouldn’t hear her fighting with her boyfriend*.

At least when we returned to the hotel for bed, we were greeted with rooms that both looked and smelled like they were from the 1970s: musty and creaky with  an aroma which took me back to the cluttered unaired cupboards of various grand-uncles and grand-aunts.

Tomorrow we take a four hour busride for a one hour hike but finally arrive at base camp and get to see the mountain from the North!

*completely unjustified speculation 

Elbrus Part 2: Day 1

Start Point: Stepaside, 120m

End Point: Hotel, Moscow Airport, 335m

Okay, so half the point of keeping this blog is to be honest. I like the idea of having a record of how I actually felt at various points of a mountain trip and not sugar-coat it so it sounds more impressive. In that spirit… I’m a bit pissed.

It’s twenty past midnight in Moscow now. It’s about 19 hours since we all met in Dublin airport. I just watched Germany being knocked out of the Euros by France. The group of 13 on this climb is nearly all guys between 25 and 40 (best guess), which leads to an interesting dynamic for the one girl in the group. While the lads were given a bright blue hoodie, she was given a hot pink one. Because… girls like pink?

From a two minute conversation I found out that our one girl has been up Kili, Aconcagua and got to Camp 2 on Everest, which is far more than the rest of us. If the hot pink hoodie means anything, it means respect.

We had to be at the airport at 4.15 this morning for a 7.15 flight. My taxi driver called at 3.55 to complain I was running late. Turns out a 23kg duffel bag and a 10kg rucksack are a bit of pain to transport on foot, even from an apartment to a cab. He was annoyed. He had another job at 5 and I’d delayed him. On the ride to the airport we managed to bond over the price of a flight  (very high) and my knowledge of the geography of Romania  (very low), so by the time he deducted  €75 from my credit card we were best buds.

I have a huge collection of notes of my last few weeks of preparing for this trip. It includes an aborted attempt to summit the twelve bens in Galway but being hampered by big black slugs named Chuck, camping on top of rivers, following ridges in zero visibility, and haunted civil-war hostels in Connemara warded by three-legged goats.

As it happens I’m in a bed in Moscow, wondering at the snores of my roommate and knowing I have less than 5 hours until we need to get on the next flight, so I’m going to get a bit of sleep.

Tomorrow is another day of travel so there should be enough opportunity to tell you of the ice cream that tastes like chalk and looks like playdough; the time they served pizza on a plane; and of our waiter Alexei, who didn’t smile for three hours and charged us import prices for domestic beers.

Tomorrow’s update should be written from a different Russian hotel room a bit further south.

Cheers 

Derm

Aconcagua, Day 14: Summit Day

Start point: High Camp / Camp 3 (c. 6,000m)
High point: Summit (6,962m) and return to Camp 3

Getting Ready
Sleeping was not easy. We’d been warned to bring everything we needed inside the tent to prevent it from freezing or blowing away, so the tent was even more cramped than usual. Our tent was at a slight slope, so my tentmate had placed a bag between us to prevent him rolling down on top of me. And despite the tent being weighed down by heavy rocks, two medium to large men, and a big load their gear, the tent shook and lifted so much in the wind that I would not have been surprised had it either blown away or been torn in two.

I managed to get a little sleep, but not a lot. I woke often and dozed for most of the night. Our tent was situated beside the guides’ tent from another team. We could hear their stove burning for what seemed like most or all of the night – I can’t blame them, as like us, they would need to have hot water available for teas, coffees and soups before we set off. Through the heavy gusts of wind, the constant drone and hiss of the boiler was quite reassuring. I could also hear various people shifting around outside.

We received our first wake up call at 3.30 a.m., an hour earlier than expected, but, at least in our tent, we were already awake. We were told hot and cold water would be brought to each tent at 4.30 a.m. and not to leave the tents before everyone was ready to depart. Standing around in the cold was a bad idea, no matter how cramped and uncomfortable the tents were. The wind outside sounded incredibly strong. As soon as we got the call, I started pulling on softshell pants over my wool leggings, a micro down layer over my wool top, and liner socks inside thick woolen socks and them inside the foam liners for my boots. Then I began preparing my snacks, medicines and spare layers for packing into my rucksack. Somehow that took me 30 minutes while my tentmate still lay dozing in his sleeping bag. When he saw me at 4 a.m.: eager, excited, and almost ready to go, he asked me “What are we supposed to do between now and 5?”. I looked at him, admitted I had no idea, and lay back down to doze again.

At 4.30 we ate some of our lemon cake. I liked it. Nobody else did. Then we made some soup for the climb (which we both forgot about until hours later). Our plans changed a little and we were told that despite the noise, the weather outside was not as terrible as we had expected. We were to gather outside the tents at 5.15 to prepare ourselves for the 5.30 departure. My tentmate asked permission to leave the tent to go the loos – he came back with all his vital bits and pieces in tact (or so he said), so I figured the risk of frostbite must not be as severe as we’d feared.

There’s only so much preparation two grown men can do in a tiny cramped tent. At 5.10 I left him to the privacy of the tent and went out into the wind to put on the final layers, lace up my boots and pack my bag. When I popped my head back in 5 minutes later to tell him it was time to go, he was relaxing on the bed in his socks, checking his phone. At 6,000m above sea level, in the middle of the Andes, and 50km from the nearest signal, he was checking his phone. I wonder if he takes classes in being that chilled, (in which case, sign me up). Maybe he just takes Valium, (n which case, sign me up).

It was cold and windy outside, but nowhere near as bad as it sounded from inside the tent. We gathered together and sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to the vet. It was a touching, heartfelt moment where everyone felt strengthened and warmed by the inclusion in the team. Then some plonker started singing ‘why was she born so beautiful… ” and so on, and on, and on. (there’s always one.)

Then we started faffing. Faffing is an exercise which can only happen while a large group of people are waiting to go somewhere together. It is an accumulation of all those quick, short, but important actions that you put off until the last minute as you think they’ll take no time at all. Faffing is an activity which is only undertaken by other people – one never recognises one’s own faffing except in terms of “I’m just fixing the straps on my bag”; “I’m just tying my boots”, “I’m just adjusting my poles”. It’s all faffing and it’s bloody annoying for everybody else, no matter how good the reasons. We faffed for a good ten minutes, while fingers and toes got very very cold. This was a bad thing. We’d been warned that letting your toes get cold at the beginning could mean they take hours to warm up. That was right: I was curling my toes in my boots for at least three or four hours after we started walking and it was five or six hours before I stopped noticing them. I’m glad to say I stopped noticing because they warmed up, not because they fell off.

Just before we left camp, our IT Guy pulled out. He did it with no fussing and no faffing. He just told us he was not feeling well enough to do it, swapped his straight walking poles for my bent and battered ones and walked back to his tent. As nervous as we all were before starting, It takes a lot of guts to recognise and admit when you’re not feeling strong enough to even start. I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to do that. By pulling out early, before we even started, he took a hit for the team. If he had tried to start and pulled out later, one of our guides would have had to leave us to bring him down safely. By giving me his walking poles, he also took a hit for me – (literally, as one of my poles snapped underneath him later that day).

From Camp to Independencia Hut

Some of the other teams from the camp had started ahead of us, so we could see their headtorches lighting the way up to White Rocks. The torches were all pointing in different directions and it looked like people were just walking around randomly, but they were actually following a path that zigzagged it’s way up the slope above high camp. Our groups spread out as we proceeded up the zig zags. We couldn’t see much more than headtorches in the distance, so it was difficult to know where the different members of the team were. The guides at the front and the back had radios and were keeping each other informed of how much the group was drifting apart.

We couldn’t take any breaks on this first piece as it was still dark and too cold and I don’t remember a lot happening. At one point, we overheard the guides mentioning on the radio that two more of the team had turned back, but I think I knew who until we reached White Rocks two hours after we started. As we approached the top of the ridge from the west, the sun was coming up on the other side. It cast a perfect triangular shadow of Aconcagua on the mountains and clouds behind and beneath us.

We stopped at White Rock just long enough to enjoy the sun for a moment, allow the team to regroup and to have some food and water. The doc handed me half a chocolate biscuit he wasn’t able to finish. It was both frozen solid and very dry. I tried to eat some, but I couldn’t finish it either. I feel bad – he had carried that biscuit for two weeks and I barely managed a nibble.

After White Rocks, the mood improved a lot as we the sunlight warmed us all up. My toes were still freezing, but I was getting warm on top, so we had a mini break to remove layers. We were warned we’d need them again soon. Already the group was beginning to spread out again and by the time we got to Independencia Hut a few hours later, another one of the team had turned back. Our guide Bruno had also gone to make sure everyone got back down safely.

Independencia Hut sounds is at about 6,400m. We’d been told that the summit day was effectively split into three sections: the climb to Independencia Hut; crossing the Canaleta; and the final climb. So the hut marked a third of the climb done. The hut looks like more like a big dog kennel that something meant for humans. I understand it’s intended as a rescue shelter, but a lot of the planks are missing, so if you really needed the shelter, I’m not sure how good it would be. At the hut, I remember I ate some jelly snakes. I was quite tired. Everyone was tired. Packie could see that we were tired and glad of the short break, so he told us encouragingly “Now it get’s difficult!”. Then he told us to put back on any layers we’d taken off – we were going to need them.

Crossing the Canaleta to the Cave

At some point during the trip, someone had read about Summit Day that once you’ve reached X, you’ve done the worst and you’re more than likely going to summit. At Independencia Hut, we thought we were at that point. We were wrong. We were very wrong.

The Canaleta is a long exposed traverse. There’s a steep slope up on your left and a steep slope down on your right. The path doesn’t climb very much and the path is quite good. But the wind. Oh holy god, the fecking wind…

Not only did we have to put back any spare layers we had taken off, we had to cover any exposed skin. The wind is so fast and cold, it could cause frostbite very quickly. And we were lucky enough to have good weather. We all pulled balaclavas and hats down to meet the goggles and pulled buffs up to cover our cheeks and noses. We checked each other to make sure everything was covered and once everyone was ready, we climbed through a small snow field to cross another ridge onto the Canaleta itself.

The wind came from our right and it was freezing. We couldn’t hear anything except the wind against our hoods. Within a minute my buff was stiff and difficult to breathe through. The wind had frozen my breath as it passed through the buff. Wearing big mitts and still in the wind, there wasn’t much I could do. Adjusting the buff would mean exposing my nose, which wasn’t a good idea. The icy wind had already done a great job of unblocking my sinuses – I was afraid that exposing my nose could possibly have unblocked my nose in a very permanent manner.

The canaleta path is long and relatively straight, so we could see the other teams moving slowly ahead of us. The nearest team were sheltering behind a large finger of rock that poked straight up out off the scree beside the path. As we came nearer to them, I kept willing them to move on so we could take their shelter. They moved just as we reached them. We stopped for a minute or two – nine of us huddling behind the finger. I slid the buff around my face so I’d have a cleaner drier warmer piece to breath through, at least for a minute. As I’d been wearing the same buff for two weeks, none of it was particularly clean.

As we prepared to move off, Packie saw a guide and a client coming back towards. He recognised that somebody in one of the other teams was turning back and reminded us that if we didn’t feel like we could go on, now was the time to mention it, when we could send more of us down without losing one of our two remaining local guides. He pointed out that once we reached the top, if we reached the top, we’d still need to make it back down again, under our own steam. If anybody felt they didn’t have enough in the tank to do that, now was the time to say so. Nobody said anything. I don’t know what anybody else was thinking. I was thinking ‘oh crap, I’m knackered and freezing’. I still said nothing and we all pressed on.

At the end of the Canelata, the path slopes steeply up. It widens out a bit and the scree becomes loose and unstable. It felt like every two or three steps we took, we’d slide back down again almost as far. We were already tired and our legs were aching, so the extra steps felt painfully frustrating. Using the IT Guys walking poles to climb the slope was beginning to hurt my arms. Every time we took a break, I tried to adjust them down to my size. After three or four attempts, I realised I was twisting them the wrong way. They were very clearly marked to show which was to twist them. Whether due to altitude, exhaustion or just regular stupidity, I was looking at the little arrow showing which way to turn and twisting them backwards, making them tighter each time we stopped.

There is an overhang at the top of the Canaleta where there is some shelter from the wind and sun. It’s called the Cave and marks the beginning of the last section. We could see people resting in the cave as we climbed the slope towards them. They were less than 50m away from us and we could see their faces quite clearly. It felt like we should reach them in a matter of minutes, but it took an hour to climb that slope. At 6,600m, every step left us out of breath and the scree kept on shifting back underneath us. It was difficult to keep going.

When we finally got there, luckily we were able to take a long rest at the cave. We were told there would now be no need for our crampons, so we gratefully unpacked them from our bags. That was out last piece of technical equipment – none of it needed. Our bags were almost empty, but they were still an effort to carry. We could see that some other teams had left their bags in the cave rather than carry them to summit. We asked could we do the same. No. In retrospect, as my bag had my spare water and my flask of soup, leaving it would have been a bad idea.

I don’t like littering, but as I sat and ate some sweets in the cave, the sweetwrapper was blown out of my hand by the wind. I didn’t even reach out my hand to try and catch it. I just watched it fly away and said “bugger”. Packie immediately jumped up from where he was sitting, skipped lightly over the rocks and grabbed the wrapper before it could get too far. He handed it back to me with a gentle reprimand, “be more careful, guys”. I felt like a right knob – not for the first time.

From the Cave to the Summit

We could see the edge of summit from where we sat cave. It really didn’t look far away – maybe 500m away across a deep depression and about 300m above us. In Ireland, this would be a small hill – maybe a 45 minute stroll. We could see clearly see people on the ridge between the summit and us, but they all looked like they were stopped or barely moving at all. We were told it was another two and a half or three hours to get up there.

Again, before we left the cave, we were reminded again that if we didn’t feel we could make it both up to the top and back down again all the way to camp, now was the time to pull out. “It’s all about honesty”, he said, “honesty with yourself and honesty with us”. I remember looking around the shelter of the cave – the shade, the shelter from the wind; and the comfortable rocks to sit on. Then I looked back at the loose scree and rocks we had to continue climbing to reach the ridge. I was very very tempted to stay.

Every time Packie mentioned pulling out or turning back if you don’t feel strong enough, I thought he was talking to me. I thought he knew how bad I felt and that he was giving me an opportunity to do the right thing and opt out. A very strong part of me wanted someone else to make that decision for me. I wanted someone to tell me I wasn’t strong enough. I asked a few people how they were feeling – hoping that when they’d ask me the same thing, they’d notice something. Some clue that told them I was better off resting in the cave until they all came back down. Everyone told me they felt tired but okay. And I told them the same thing about me. And then we started walking again.Two steps up, and one slip back down. Two steps up, and one slip back down.

The vet told me later than when Packie was talking in the cave, she felt he was talking directly to her. Telling her to pull out. I supposed everyone felt the same way. We all kept going. Two steps up, and one slip back down.

I ended up in the middle of the group, as it began to split apart again. Packie and three of the team (one of the Clare lads, the Grocer, and the Doc) were ahead of me; Carlos and the other three (the Leader, the Vet and my Tentmate) were behind me. I couldn’t catch the people ahead of me, even though they were less than 20 metres away. I was so near them, but I couldn’t get any closer to them – even when they stopped for a break. With every step I took, I had to take two long slow breaths but I was out of breath the whole time. But the people behind me weren’t gaining on me either.

Packie had told us about power breathing and rest stepping. The power breathing involved taking three fast deep breaths and exhaling them quickly and forcefully. It helps with acclimatisation as you’re forcing the body to use the whole of the lungs to take in oxygen. It had worked well for me on the lower altitudes, but up here, every time I took a deep breath, I started coughing. I felt like I had a bad chest infection. The rest of the team were coughing too. I started taking three breaths per step.

The buffs were supposed to protect our lungs from the dust and the cold air, but they made breathing even more difficult. I tried to keep mine over my nose and mouth, but I had to pull it down regularly. The summit looked very near, but didn’t seem to be getting any nearer. We were moving so slowly, it didn’t feel like we were making any progress at all. I very much wanted to give up. I started taking four breaths per step.

Breath. Breath. Breath. Breath. One more step.

Breath. Breath. Breath. Breath. One more step. Still no closer.

I knew I was going to make when I saw Packie and his front group disappearing over the ridge. People were passing me by as they came down from the summit, telling me that I was almost there. But I’ve done that to people enough times to know it means very little.

Apparently Packie and the guys were on the summit cheering me on over the last few metres. I didn’t notice them. They were about 30m or 40m ahead of me when they disappeared over the ridge. I think it took me about 15 minutes to get there. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done, but I got there.

The Summit

I saw some people cry when they reached the wide flat plateau at the top. I didn’t. I looked around for my team and I’m not sure if I saw them. There were about twenty people there from different teams when I got there. A little makeshift cross covered in flags is the only landmark. I sat down on the ground right beside the cross, my bag still on my back and I didn’t move. I think I blocked or ruined about two dozen photos. At first I didn’t notice. Then I didn’t care. Then I moved, very slowly and gave them back their monument.

Seeing the Andes from above is an amazing sight. Having walked through the mountains for two weeks and seeing the peaks tower high above you the whole time, looking down on all of them is an extraordinary sight. The Andes look pretty tiny from up there.

Once the rest of the team got up, we took some photos. Not as many as you’d think. None of us were over-excited or running around energetically pointing cameras everywhere. We were just tired. Pleased and satisfied but tired. At least that’s how I felt – I may be projecting that on to the rest of the team. I know we all hugged and shook hands. I know we got a few team photos. But there were no cheers or applause. Just smiles.

We were all reminded to drink lots of water and eat some snacks. We’d need energy for the way back down. My tentmate and I shared the soup which we’d both forgotten about. I convinced him that as I’d carried the flask up, he could carry it down.

Descent to Camp

Most accidents in climbing and walking happen on the descent. People are tired, they switch off, they’re elated but they’re not concentrating. Muscles are also tired so where you might do a shuffle or a little sidestep to correct a trip or stumble on the way up, on the way down, you don’t have the energy and you just flaw flat on your ass. It’s dangerous.

You could that most of the team were exhausted on the way back down, at least until we reached the cave again. We all fell a few times. We all sent a few stones and rocks and sand tumbling down towards our teammates walking down ahead of us. We were as careful as we could be, and the guides were looking after us, but we were also a bit lucky that nobody hurt themselves in the slips and falls. If I hadn’t had the IT Guy’s walking poles with me, I doubt I would have made it without injuring myself.

We passed a few people who were less lucky than us. One of guys from a different team has stopped walking as his legs had just stopped working – no injuries or sickness, just exhausted muscles. He couldn’t walk. I think the guides had to carry him – that’s why they’d warned us to make sure we had enough energy to get back down. There was no other way down than using your feet – even helicopters can’t fly that high. We were lucky in that everyone could walk, we still had Packie and Carlos with us and we’d picked up another guide from one of the other teams from the same company. Although what exactly had happened to his own team, I was never too clear.

We all felt better once we reached the cave had a rest. Somewhere along the way, we picked up a stray. A young lad from Japan, without a guide and apparently not entirely sure where he was going. He had followed us up from some point (although I hadn’t noticed him), and now he was following us down. I noticed him on the way down, as he was stumbling and tripping even more than me. He would move fifty meters in a quick little trot and then (if he hadn’t fallen), sway back and forth for thirty seconds, before trotting on again. In this way, he kept passing us and we kept passing him. Eventually, he was sent on ahead of us, in case one of his tumbles would bring the rest of us down with him.

My arms and shoulders were beginning to get very sore from putting all my weight on the walking poles held out in front of me. But as we got lower and it became easier to breath, I found myself waking up a little. My limbs were killing me, but I began to feel quite chuffed with the idea that we’d done what we’d come to do.

The poor grocer had a very tough descent, as he heard that there was a very real possibility that his tentmate, the IT Guy, would have packed their tent together and headed down to basecamp, leaving the Grocer to figure out a new place to sleep. The grocer had spent the entire ascent dreaming about the clean clothes and comfy sleeping bag that he’d laid out for himself in the tent before he left, so the thoughts of having to bunk in with somebody else and blow up his air mattress again was working on him like a very strong shot of adrenaline. He lead the charge for camp.

We split up a little when we passed the Independencia Hut on the descent. We’d lost our spare doctor early on, so when the other doc diagnosed himself as needing a little tender loving care on the way down, the vet took him into the dog kennel and looked after him. I joked at the beginning of the trip about having two doctors with us and a vet in case we lost the doctors. I didn’t think it would actually work out that way.

We reached base camp at about 6.30pm, thirteen hours after leaving. The Horselady, the Spare Doctor and the IT Guy had already departed for basecamp, but the Grocer’s tent was intact. He barely managed to get his boots off before falling asleep. Carlos ran from tent to tent, gently offering us food and angrily threatening us with terrible headaches if we didn’t drink at least a litre of water before sleeping. After drinking five or six litres a day for two weeks, we’d survived the highest, longest and toughest day on less than three litres. If we didn’t rehydrate now, we’d wake up in the morning with the worst kind of hangover (a hangover you get without drinking any alcohol is about as bad as it gets.) Apparently I was the only person who accepted Carlos’ kind offer of dinner, so as my tentmate went to sleep, I sat up in our tent, slurping down a bowl of salty instant noodles. They were delicious and it certainly felt like I’d earned them.

Aconcagua, Day 13: Move to Camp 3

Start point: Camp 2 (5,500m)
End point: High Camp / Camp 3 (6,000m)

Today we moved to our final camp. At 6,000m, it is (slightly) higher than the summit of Kilimanjaro – cold, windy, very low on oxygen and a generally unpleasant place to be. The plan was to spend as litte time there as possible, as sleep, rest, and recovery were all going to be difficult. We had to carry our entire gear up to Camp 3 in one go, as leaving any equipment there made little sense.

Two of the girls were conscious of he extra effort of carrying our full packs up to Camp 3 the daybefore our summit attempt,  so asked about hiring a high altitude porter for the day. A porter could carry up to 20kg, but would cost over $400. But nobody needed a porter to carry their entire load, so the plan was to share the porter between a few different people. I offered to throw in few a kilos to nake up the twenty if needed, but nobody seemed too sure what the Clare lads would or wouldn’t be contriuting, least of all the Clare lads themselves. Their numbers from their first pack of the day seemed to differ from numbers at each of their six subsequent packings,.

At first i was told that I’d need t contribute  few kilos (and dollars) for the porter, then none at all, then a few kilos again. One of the lads gave a lot of gear, then the other gave so much gear that one of the girls had to take back 2.5kg and find space for it in her own pack. But once he heard the price tag of $20 per kilo, he took all of his gear back again, resolving that he’d rather the weight on his back than a lightness in his wallet. The girls were able to hand their loads back again.

Up to a few minutes before departure, I had my sleeping bag in  a stuffsack outside my main rucksack waiting to see was it to be handed to the porter or not. In the end I carried all my gear myself – my sleeping bag (quite luckily, as it happened) just squashed into the top of my rucksack on top of everything else.

It was a long slow steep slog up the scree to Camp 3, with some steep traverses. The ground underfoot was quite loose and sandy. We knew at this point that there was realistically only one weather window available, so a lot of teams were making the same journey at the same time as us. There was some banter as we overtook and were in turn overtaken by the other teams. The girls in our team identified a woman from another team who was (in breach of mountain etiquette and the by-laws on Aconcagua) leaving little piles of toilet paper under rocks at each likely peeing spot. The mountain was generally pristine, and we were all making an effort to keep it that way, so it was frustraing to see oter people leaving their own waste to (quite literally) get blown about by the wind.

Towards the end of the trek, Carlos was exchanging a joke with a guide form another team. They were having a short break as we walked passsed. The other guide then came up to Carlos, laughing, and patted him on the back As he did so, he balanced quite a large rock on Carlos’ bag and watched as Carlos carried it off up the hill. I thought this was hilarious at first and marvelled at Carlos’ ability to carry an extra few kilos on top of his already laden bag without even noticing. Then I got to thinking of what was ahead of us that night and the next day and realised that my success in getting to the summit (or not) could depend on how much energy Carlos had left, so I waited until we’d turned a little corner and knocked off the rock. Carlos hadn’t known at all.  I’m a good person, I thought. Karma wll reward me, I thought. I was wrong. Karma’s a sneaky vindictive cow.

A few minutees later, we took our own break. I was towards the back of the line and as I arrived up to the group, the IT Guy was sitting on large squarish rock. The rock was roughly about a metre square across the top, and about as tall. The IT Guy is a big man, but there was more than enough room for me on the rock with him, so I leant my walking poles against the rock, laid my rucksack next to them and sat down beside him. My feet was just just about still touching the sand. After a minute or two the rock moved.

I barely noticed it as first. The IT Guy was moving about a little and I thought his movement was just causing the rock to wobble under us. Then I realised that all the movement, as slow as it was at first, was in one direction – downhill. Stupidly, I initially tried to stabilise it with my legs . I did Physics for the Leaving Cert but had somehow forgotten the lesson where an 85kg man cannot stop a one tonne rock when it decides to move downhill. The rock began to move faster, I began to shout “oh shit! oh shit!” and luckily the IT Guy and me both moved at once – quick enough to save our legs which would have been crushed, but not quick enough to save my walking poles or my bag, which were both trapped underneath it.

The rock just turned over once and stopped moving. The ground was soft and sandy, which probably stopped it moving further. The good side of that was that it didn’t roll on downhill towards any of the other teams coming up behind us. The bad point was that it was very difficult to shift it to get out te remains of my poles or my bag. It took five of us three or four attempts to roll the rock back a few centimetres and pull out the bag and the least trapped of the poles. It was severely bent. It was clear that we wouldn’t be able to save the second pole that way, so we waited until the rest of the teams had passed us and then the five of us pushed it downhill, trying to make it roll again and hoping it would stop again after one turn and not continue on down the hill. Again, it took a few attempts before the rock moved but luckily the plan worked. The boulder shifted and stopped again, but it gave us enough room to pull the second mangled pole out from underneath. It was bent even more then the first. Stuffing the sleeping bag into the top of my rucksack had saved anything fragile in my bag from getting squashed, so for that, at least, I am grateful to the Clare lads and their indecisive packing.

We made it up to Camp 3 without further mishap and weighed our bags there just for fun. Mine was 21kg. The Doc’s was 23kg. I imagine the guides were carrying well above 25kg each even without the joke rocks added on by rival guides.

Rather than each put up our tents in pairs, we were split into groups of six. This meant anyone suffering from the altitude or tiredness could take a rest without meaning their tent didn’t go up. It also meant that someone was always holding on to the tent in case of a strong wind. The Grocer got quite upset about the inefficient emploment of labour with six people working to put up a small tent. I think we did quite well: we had five strong men on our team and one petite girl – so while the guys fastened little clips between the canvas and the poles, we sent the girl off to collect as many big heavy boulders as she could find.

The division of labour meant that for the first time I wasn’t involved in putting up my own tent. Not being great at delegation, I examined it critically and made a few adjustments before oopening up the zips. In the porch area, I found a piece of used toilet paper flapping around the breeze. What a nice welcome. Luckily we caught it in a nappy bag before it got too far.

Tonight it summit night. We were warned to expect the first wake up call at 4.30am and each tent were given a lemon cake and a bag of nuts for breakfast. It was to be very windy so we were told not to expect much sleep and just lie back and relax if you couldn’t sleep. We were too start the final ascent at 5.30am. But nobody should leave the tent until everyone was ready  – otherwise we’d just stand around in the wind getting cold… and once you get cold up here (in the dark and in the wind), it takes an awful lot to warm you up again.

Just before dinner, which we all took in our tents, we got a little bit of good news. We wouldn’t need our ice axes on summit night as there’d been no fresh snow. This was extra weight we could do without and a positive indication of summit conditions. We’d left our climbing harnesses at basecamp for similar reasons, leaving the crampons as the only piece of technical equipment still in our bags.

Dinner was pasta with a creamy mushroom sauce. I don’t know how they did it. I thought it was delicious and ate my tentmate’s leftovers. Then, despite the wind that threatened to lift the tent, I managed to get a few hours of sleep.